


Loss

by Semi_problematic



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood Loss, Hallucinations, M/M, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:44:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: As Negan began to pass out, he saw Carl. At first he thought it was a blessing. Something to calm him. But it quickly turned when Carl began to say everything Negan feared. After, Negan decided it wasn't a blessing, it was a punishment.





	Loss

Blood loss is a bitch. 

As the blood poured from Negans neck and slipped down into his shirt and jacket, all he could feel was relief. It was over. It was finally over. No more fighting. No more killing. No more zombies. No more feelings. Just nothing. And it was relaxing. Negan didn't worry. He didn't twist around and scream. He didn't even try to stop it. He just laid there, staring up at the sky, waiting. Part of him wished it was night time so that he could see the stars. 

"You deserved this." A familiar voice spoke. "You were an asshole and you had this coming." A figure stood above him. Tall. Thin. Long hair. Carl. "You could've protected me, but you didn't." He was fuzzy but Negan could make out some details of his face. "It's all your fault and you know that." He leaned closer. Part of Negan wished he would just die. Let this hallucination of Carl disappear. "You blame my father just so you have am excuse to sit back and pretend it wasn't your fault." 

Negan opened his mouth, reaching up to defend himself, but people hushed him and arms grabbed him and pulled him back. 

"Stop moving." "Stop talking." "You're making it worse." "Stop moving." "Put pressure." "Get his jacket off." "There's so much blood." "We can stop it." "It's okay." 

It wasn't. 

As the people swarmed around him, the image of Carl only began to blur. He was still there, though. Watching. Arms crossed across his chest. Hair blowing in the wind. His father was behind him. Walking around and shouting some nonsense that Negan could barely hear. Again. He wished to die. 

"You're sick, Negan. Sick. You planned on murdering all these people because of me." Carl laughed. Mocking. "You blame everyone but yourself and its pathetic. You're pathetic." Carl walked around him. Negan felt dizzy. "I wish you would die."

Negan opened his mouth again to speak, but hands covered his mouth and incoherent shouts filled the air. 

"I died helping someone. I died protecting my family and my friends. I died because I got bit while saving someone." He laughed again. Negan closed his eyes. Then be opened them. He missed Carl. He wanted to see him. "You're going to die and you're going to die a coward. You ran, Negan. You cost all those people their lives because you-" Carl was pointing at him. "Are weak." 

"I'm not.." Negan breathed out.

Carl was in his face now. "You are weak, Negan. You didn't do this when your wife died. You didn't do this when you lost friends." He shook his head. "No, you did this over some kid. You started a war over me." 

Arms were touching him again. Pulling at his shirt and curling around his throat. Hands in his hair. Hands on his stomach. Hands everywhere. Negan slowly took a breath. A burning sensation filled is throat. Or maybe it had been there but he never noticed. Shock was a crazy thing. 

"You're dying a coward, Negan." Carls voice was starting to get quieter. "You're dying a coward who loved a boy and who you couldn't protect." Silence. "You're dying loving a boy who didn't love you." 

A tear slipped from his eye. Negan let out a heavy breath he had no idea he was holding. His vision went black. 

"All. Your. Fault." 

"I know..."


End file.
